Michelle F's Cancer Blog

Near Miss? False Negative?

So I had the full hysterectomy on Tuesday, lap with robotics. The frozen biopsy came back negative. Hooray. However, my doctor confided in me (and I later learned he said this to the OR team too) that he had his strongest gut feeling that he would find cancer. He will not be totally convinced until the final pathology comes back in 2-3 weeks. I had some complications from swelling after surgery, and had the respirator in for an extra 4 hours. The majority of my pain was in my neck until the next morning. They did a CT scan and found a large hematoma in the muscle fibers in my neck. Ice and rest. I am in pain, and uncomfortable, as would be expected from this sort of surgery. I am thankful for good news from the initial test. But emotionally I’m wondering if I went through this physical trauma for nothing? Will I endure early menopause at 38 years old, having gained or prevented nothing? I know this sounds selfish. I feel selfish. And I feel like such a burden on my friends and family who are helping me right now.
Did anyone have this experience? Have any of you had an initial biopsy show negative, only to be told that the final pathology was positive? I don’t know if I can relax yet.

Posted on February 3, 2012 at 3:55:57 PM by Michelle F (Near Miss? False Negative?, 5 comments, 261 views)

Serenity threw a punch at your cancer.

relax any time you can. I would be pretty confident of the Initial Biopsy. Take the pain med you were given if they don’t work get better ones. The thing that is stressed the most with Kathy is not to have pain. Let us know I’ll be thinking about you.

Posted on February 3, 2012 at 4:34:36 PM by Kathysman

Hmmm interesting…well iw old be very glad about the initial findings…I would think the remai ing tests would be clear too…they do them obviously to be safe..it is not selfish at all to not want to go through menopause at 38 ..it is sort of tough…all things are measured against what the options are…with cancer we all think ..well at least I’m alive…we often feel guilty for grieving and missing the things we have lost..like there is NOTHING we would not give up in exchange for life..but in reality these are tough choices…not knowing the detailed medical issues that your doctor is looking at it is hard to comment on the choices you faced…and do face…you have to take one thing at a time…you know this already..and remember. We all make decisions based on what we know at the time we made them…hindsight is sometimes hideously clear…you are in my thoughts:) the best to you! Lori

Posted on February 3, 2012 at 8:24:21 PM by Lori

Genetic testing?

With too much thinking by myself lately, trying to survive until my surgery without going insane, I’ve been thinking of the genetic testing/counseling ahead of me.
Who out there has done it, with or without hesitations? Before there was an immediate threat that I might have cancer, it was mentioned to me, almost in passing, by my doctors. It was something they always told me to “think about”. Whenever I did think about it, I always got stuck at this one question… “What do you do with the information”? I don’t know how accurately it will predict my future, or how exactly the doctors and counselors use the information to guide the patients on the next steps. I always feared having the morbid information, and the extreme measures to minimize or delay the inevitable. Are the precautionary measures always so invasive? A radical mastectomy if you have predictable breast cancer genes? A full hysterectomy if there’s a chance for ovarian cancer? What other cancers can it predict, and what other procedures can be done? Perhaps the doctors’ advice can be more subtle, take extra vitamins, maybe some new hormones? My appointment is scheduled for a few weeks after my hysterectomy, so it might be right around the time the final pathology will be in. Maybe they’ll use the combined information to suggest my medical path?
There are so many questions running around in my head, whenever I give them a chance to take hold, I drive myself crazy.
I’ve been trying to keep busy around the house to keep my mind off the upcoming adventure. What do you call spring cleaning in January? It feels like spring here in PA, it is 47 degrees today! Our normal is around 13! No snow on the ground. It certainly has been a season of surprises.

My thoughts and prayers are will each of you. Thanks for reading.

Posted on January 29, 2012 at 5:41:36 AM by Michelle F (Genetic testing?, 2 comments, 313 views)

Hi Michele,
Your post caught my eye.. Inhad genetic testing done thru myriad 8 years ago…my mom died of breast cancer at 49 . My sister has BC at age 34 and that was 20 years ago and survived..so at age 44 I decided I cold ot live with ot knowing and wanted to see if I had a mutation. Of brca 1 or 2 . Even if breast or ovarian cancer runs in your famil only a snail percentage are those particular mutations…some are familial specific mutations and without a loos test of an other affected family member..they test may come back as inconclusive…my sister did not want to give a sample of her look which pissed me off..but I decided to go ahead anyway and get tested for the brca one or two mutation. It came back positive..
For me it was a no brainer..if I had to do it today with the few advances in the trtmt of BC..I would doit again…I knew that there is only a few things I can have some say over but I wanted to lower my chances of getting specifically breast or ovarian cancer..so I underwent a prophylactic mastectomy and then had breast recon done..about 6 mos later. Had a full hysterectomy…
I know people then and now think it was drastic and it was somewhat..but at the time I did not have cancer and was in excellent health…I had a great plastic surgeon and was very pleased with the reconstruction…the hysterectomy with the Oren disruption as a little harder..I now do bio identical hormone replacement .

Fast forward..three years ago I got anal cancer..WTF? I mean are you kidding me… ? So whatever…I am glad I did what I did…I kow you can only control so much! I again had no symptoms and went in for a baseline colonoscopy as I was turning 50 ..again I feel very lucky asi was stage one..but now live with the fear of it returning though after all I have been thru it is not s much really..I learned to live in the now many years ao and this is a great thing.

Another issue we share is a sister in recovery..I urge you to give your sister a chance…get to know the recovered perso..not the addict she was…I too had this experience and my sister who is in rrecovery (I have three awesome sisters) she and I are spiritually the closest as she has been thru so much that her presence has been very healing for me..she has transferred the lessons in aka which I consider a great spiritual program into how she treats people and how little control you have sometimes…I love and value the things I have learned from her..so I ope that works out for you..love is a great thing and it is healing too! You have my prayers as you get ready for surgery this week! Best regards! Lori in AZ.

Posted on January 29, 2012 at 7:42:09 PM by Lori

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